Approaching and Opening Guide

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Approaching and Opening Guide Empty Approaching and Opening Guide

Post  Peacock on Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:49 am

Hey Guys,

You can open in many ways: Direct, Indirect, Situational, etc.
Personally, if its a random walk up to a girl in the street or something I prefer Direct. If its a more low key situation, i.e. in a restaurant, cafe or something this (in my opinion) calls for a less direct opener.

Types of Approaches:

This is my personal favourite, and I use it almost exclusively during the day. This is simply where you outright state your interest in the girl.

The advantages of this approach are:
- It DHVs you because of the confidence and initiative you show by using this approach
- It relieves you and the girl of any initial awkwardness since you are coming out with the truth – You like this girl and you want to meet her.
- Her interest in you will become evident within the first few seconds. If you go direct and she seems uneasy/unwilling to engage in a conversation, you will know straight out that she does not fancy a conversation/pickup at this time. It will save you a lot of time of beating round the bush when you’re just going to get shut down by her anyways.

Of course there are some disadvantages, these are:
- It takes a lot of balls to do this sort of approach, and you need to be in your prime state of mind to pull this off successfully
- It may sound canned when you say it, and she may pick up on it and view you as unoriginal and sleazy
- Your ego can take a huge knock if she outright rejects you

At the end of the day, this approach is HIGH RISK, but HIGH REWARD!
I personally do favour this approach over others, but do what you feel comfortable doing.

This is where you may ask an opinion on something to get into a conversation with the girl (or you could use my Free Hugs Routine™️)

- Ideal for groups of girls (and guys)
- Ideal for lower key situations where a direct opener would be very socially awkward
- She can’t really reject you outright because you’re simply asking an innocent question

- May take a while to ‘pick up’ the girl
- People may have trouble following up after this kind of opener, and may become stuck
- The girl may not seem receptive to the question, unwilling to answer it, or may simply answer it and then expect you to be gone straight after because she answered your question

This is LOW RISK, LOW(ER) REWARD. I’m personally not a fan of this approach, but sometimes the situation may call for such an opener – e.g. groups of people where a direct approach on the target may result in a huge resistance from the rest of the group.

Situational (Funny):

This is where you make a (funny) observation in a setting in which both of you find yourselves in. I personally favour this approach if I’m not going to go direct.

- She may become immediately interested in engaging you in a conversation
- Quick way to build rapport and comfort given that you both appreciate some specific aspect of the venue, etc.
- If she finds it funny, you’ve broken through some of her defences and you DHV by being that happy, fun, sociable guy who people love

- She may not laugh, in which case you might look like a tool
- It may be hard to transition to deeper levels of interaction
- May (again) take a while to pick up the girl

Generally this approach is MEDIUM RISK, MEDIUM REWARD.
The key here is to ensure that your observation is funny, and that she laughs with it.
“Once you get them laughing, the rest is easy” is a saying that holds true here.

There are many more styles of approach, however these are the main ones that I’ve found work best.

Now, lets get to the nitty gritty of each approach!

Seated Sets:

With seated sets, you really need to watch the amount of time it takes you to sit down beside/with them. If you do it right away, you run the risk of her thinking “Wtf is this guy doing? Why is he sitting with me?”, and if you wait too long, you run the risk of her thinking “Wtf? He’s towering over me, is he trying to intimidate me? *bitch shield goes up!*”
So, to do it correctly, you need to be passing by and while you deliver your opener, you need to have you body facing slightly away from her whilst standing initially. AS YOU DELIVER your FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT, THAT is when you take a seat, because she’s thinking “Ok, he’s sitting down, but he’s not going to stay long.. he told me so..”


For direct openers, you really need to maintain that Confident Posture and MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT! I cannot stress that enough. I don’t care if there's a live porn show going on to your left, you MUST keep the eye contact!!!
We went over delivery before so I won’t go back into it now.
There are variations and various degrees of directness.
My personal favourite I ALWAYS use for direct is one I learnt and added to from "Seduce in Seconds", whereby you say something like "Hey, I thought you looked really cute and I just wanted to say hi" But I thought by adding the time constraint in the opener it would be much better and I came up with something like this: "Hey, don't mean to interrupt or anything, I actually gotta head off now cos my bus is about to come, but I just wanted to say I thought you looked really cute and I just wanted to say hi."

This is good because:
1) You're giving the time constraint right off the bat, which lowers her defence shields instantly and greatly - also a DHV. We'll get to this later in the guide.

2) Some people may not like the "don’t mean to interrupt" and that’s fine, take it out, but I think its good because it means that you understand and recognise that this is not a normal occurrence in social settings for randoms to walk up and say hi, this would also lower her shields. It shows that you know this must be random and a little weird, and that you understand that you may have indeed been interrupting something and so you say this and then she's ok with the interrupt.

3) The directness of the opener will also DHV you, and depict you as a confident alpha male who knows what he wants, and goes after it unapologetically.

Other variations can include like: “Hey, I thought you looked really interesting and I just wanted to come and see what you’re all about”
To me, the previous opener is my favoured direct opener and it works extremely well, you just need to find your balls to use it!
If it’s a 2 set you can still open direct, but now you have a choice, direct or indirect. But if you open direct you’d go something like this:
Open the obstacle, and say like "Hey, I gotta head off now cos my bus is about to come, but I just wanted to say that I thought your friend here was really cute and I just wanted to say hi"
Them: "blah blah blah"
You: "You're not too bad either, but I've just got a thing for blondes/redheads/brunettes/etc"


I'd use Indirect approaches during the day for either 3+ sets. You can use it on 2 sets as well, but I like to go direct on the 2 set as well.
For indirect openers, you would ask for opinions on something, perhaps a gift for a friend, which cologne smells better, Style’s Jealous Girlfriend Opener – You talk about a ‘friend’ of yours who has pictures of his ex in his drawer and his current girlfriend gets upset about it. And you ask whether or not its justified that she gets upset and what they would do.

Based on their responses and receptiveness to your question, you take it from there to continue the conversation by either teasing the target for her response “You sound like a dangerous one” etc.
Fire out a few of those negs, or a Disqualifier – If you liked the target’s response, you could be all like “Naww that’s the perfect answer anyone could give, too bad you’re not my type” This sort of thing gets her chasing, mind you it may be a bit premature to say this straight after the opener, but you get the idea.

Situational (Funny):

In a lower key situation, I'd go Situational funny. This could be like, "Did you notice that _____ on the _____ of the (wherever you are)?..." the 'dot dot dot' here is a space for you to make a funny observation.
I'll give you an example:
I was in Hungry Jack's one time, sitting in an upstairs part, near the stair case, finishing my meal. A girl comes up the stairs and sits at a table near me. In this particular Hungry Jacks, they had pictures on the wall of Extreme Sports - Skiing, snowboarding, sky diving, jet skiing, motocross racing, etc.
So I walked up to her as I threw my rubbish away on my way to the stairs and said: "You know why they have these pictures on the wall here?" she goes "no why?" and I said "To show you what you could be doing, instead of sitting here eating hungry jacks" It wasn’t the Best opener, but it was a total spontaneous thought that crossed my mind. She laughed and I was in. That’s an example of a situational Funny opener!

Moving Sets:

For moving sets, the openings/approaches are just as above but there are afew things you need to do specifically for these types of sets.

If the target (1 set) is walking towards you – i.e. you two are going in opposite directions, then as you’re closing the distance between her, try to catch her eye and if you do, smile – if she smiles back, say “hi” and take it from there with a direct approach!
If you cant catch her eye, simply just walk as you would normally, pretending to be passing her by but afew meters before you pass her, take a small step into her path and slightly raise your closest arm/hand and make a “stop” motion as you spit your opener.
So you would be walking, and then step into her path, hold your closest arm to her angled down about 45 degrees with your hand in a “stop” position and then use your opener.
Also, jump in with a little more energy in your voice and opener!

If you are walking behind her and you guys are going in the same direction, walk up to her ON HER SIDE. NEVER approach from behind! NEVER!
Walk up on her side, and maybe touch her on her closest arm to you as you say “Excuse me” or “Hey” and then use your opener.

Hope that helps someone Smile


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